BLOG #9: GOODBYE 2009...

Where did the year go? Is it really the LAST DAY of 2009? Wow... Has 2009 been a good year for you? Or has it been a year that was full of pain, frustration and unwanted changes?

I can sincerely say that it's been an interesting year for me in many areas of life. Disappointments, excitement, sadness, loss, positive gains, love, etc. But overall, 2009 was the year of "enlightenment" for myself. A year that brought about acknowledgement of my very own downfalls and drawbacks... Things that I no longer need to rest on, but things that I need to change in order to excel, succeed and become prosperous in the new year.

So many of us out there are so quick to blame and point fingers at EVERYONE else around you for the predicaments in your life. I am charging you to take some time to reflect on your past, your actions and anything in your life that may be an enabler. Take the time to get to know the things in your life that are keeping you from being your best. Is it really someone else's fault or your own?

In 2009 and my 27th year, I made it my responsibility to seek out and understand the choices that I've made in my life. Choices that may be the cause of not being where I know I SHOULD BE at this point in my life. I am where I am... BECAUSE OF JEMIA. No one else. How many of you can honestly look at yourself in the mirror and admit this to yourself? Sometimes our PRIDES, EGOS, & ATTITUDES prevent us from "keepin' it real" and allowing ourselves to see that the FIRST STEP to change, is the admission of one's own faults.

Reflecting on the last year, things went pretty smoothly overall. But in order for me to reach my full potential, the time taken to discover my hindrances from years passed, will make way for 2010 to be a truly unbelievable and SUCCESSFUL year!

What will you do to make 2010 a wonderful and memorable year for you? Or will you continue to let the same problems hold you down, the same negative attitude keep you from your blessings, or the same cynical people keep you on their miserable level? It's up to you... you decide...

With GOD, the love of my life, my family and true friends all by my side, this year has been forecasted to be one of my best! First things first... YOU CAN ONLY MAKE YOU HAPPY... Don't sit around worried about what everyone else has to say about YOUR LIFE. Their happiness does not depend on you, nor does yours depend on them. My personal motto for 2010 is "HAPPINESS is a CHOICE that REQUIRES EFFORT"

In 2010 and my 28th year, I am in the pursuit of LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST! I have to take pride in my own life before I can expect the people closest to me to be proud of their daughter, sister, girlfriend, cousin, niece, best friend, auntie, etc... While we're so busy trying to "check" other people about their short comings... sometimes in life you have to know when to sit back and "CHECK YOURSELF..."

While this may be the "Year of the Tiger" for the Chinese, I am proclaiming this year to be the "Year of Unbreakable Love and Success!" :)

I'm looking forward to attending my church's anointing service with my family and sweetie, then I'm off to celebrate with friends! I am especially looking forward to my love's "traditional" New Year's kiss! *muah!* (I can't believe this is our 3rd New Year's together!!)

I'm wishing each of you a blessed, prosperous, exciting, happy and delightful new year!

See you all on the other side... 2010 that is...!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

~JUST JEMIA :0)

***This post is dedicated to my "other mother" Earline P. Davis (March 4, 1949 - January 28, 2009) You may be gone, but you'll NEVER be FORGOTTEN. Love you mama!***

BLOG #8: AGING GRACEFULLY :)

***So, I CAN'T BELIEVE it's been 18 days since I last blogged... The holidays have kept me SO BUSY and my Christmas in ATL was GREAT! How was your Christmas holiday?!***

Well, this morning I woke up to a NEW age! Yep, today is my birthday and at 7:37 this morning, I am OFFICIALLY 28 YEARS OLD! Wow. Am I really 2 years from 30?! I can truly say that I am blessed and happy to see another year with my family, friends and of course the love of my life! I am looking forward to my dinner tonight, with family and friends, and then who knows what will happen after that!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

I guess in this post, I wanted to focus on AGE. What is AGE? Age is the length of time that a person has lived. Does your age define you, or is it "just a number?"

Honestly, while I may only be 28 years old today, I truly believe that your AGE is determined by your mind set and your outlook on life. In other words, "YOU ARE AS OLD AS YOU FEEL AND THINK..."

Have you ever met someone who looked 45, but was only 30 years old? Or a 70 year old that looked 50? The 30 year old has probably allowed the stresses of life to take over him and cause him mental and physical anguish. While the 70 year old may be healthy, active, positive and full of charisma! Aging is more of a mental state of mind than physical, in my opinion.

So don't allow worries, the negative things in life and hardships to wear you down. Push through those times and continue to keep an upbeat mentality. And those that are pessimistic, unenthusiastic about life or has a defeatist attitude, don't be surprised when you don't have people gloating over "how well you have aged!"

A healthy lifestyle and a positive disposition are the key factors to AGING GRACEFULLY... :)

Now more than ever you are as young as you feel. So stop acting your chronological age and enjoy life!

"Live your life and forget your age."

~JUST JEMIA :0) "The Birthday Girl!"

BLOG #7: My PRINCESS Is FINALLY Here!!!

I woke up early this morning with a smile on my face... I had the same feeling that most little kids have when they wake up on Christmas morning. Pure excitement and the anticipation of the coming events of the day!

Today is the day that Disney's "The Princess & The Frog" will premiere in movie theaters all across the country. While it has been some years since Disney released an animated movie, there is something TRULY special about this one!

"Seventy-two years after Snow White first emerged on the silver screen, Disney's exclusive pantheon of fairytale royals is about to get another member to delight little girls around the world. For the first time in Disney's history, the magic kingdom is crowning an African American princess!"

While this may seem like no large feat to most, to someone like myself who has spent countless hours watching Disney movies and growing up going to Disney World on a regular basis, this day is HUGE! I grew up knowing the stories about beautiful Princesses named, Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Princess Ariel (The Little Mermaid), Princess Belle (Beauty and the Beast), Princess Jasmine (Aladdin), Pocahontas & Mulan, but there was always one thing missing... a familiar face amongst the Disney Princesses that I could relate to...

Little "black" girls around the world NOW have a face they can look at and say, "Mommy, she looks like me!" What a great step for Disney to finally make this moment a reality! What a great addition to the Disney Princesses and another wonderful character for children, globally, to admire, no matter what "color" you may be!"

I am SO excited about seeing the movie tonight, and I hope that it's all that I have EVER dreamt of!

Welcome Princess Tiana!

~JUST JEMIA :o)

My first trip to Disney World, December 1985

Family pic (mom was taking the picture) at Disney World 1985

BLOG #6: Why Men Can't Find A Good Woman... Or Fail To Commit When They Do...

OK... So, day before yesterday, my boyfriend and I were driving back pretty late from ATL. As we were on I-20 W, we were listening to V-103's own Joyce Littel talking about love and relationships. She had a guest author on the air as well and they were talking about, "why is it that men cannot find a good woman to commit to?" Adrian and I were kind of intrigued and turned up the volume. I thought to myself, "Hmmm... you don't usually hear this from the man's point of view, so this is going to be interesting."

Various callers called in and you heard a plethora of reasonings behind this mystery. One young man stated that woman today are too "stuck up" and independent and that some men have a hard time being "equally yoked" with a woman today. He said that these women, although they have their own are "gold diggers" and immediately begin to question a man's employment, living situations, question the car they drive and if they are highly educated.

A woman called in and said that it's because men are indecisive and have too many options out there in the world. Women outnumber men and men have a hard time coming to the realization that they are committing to be with only ONE WOMAN. (God forbid! *gasp* LOL!)

And one other guy's point was that men have a difficult time meeting and committing to "Ms. Right" because there are too many women out there that want to play mind games. He claimed that women are not brazen enough and that women don't want a real man, they want a man that reads minds. He said that men get tired of it and that women should be more willing to tell a man what she wants mentally, physically & emotionally, instead of giving weak hints...

What do you think? Why are men having a hard time finding a good woman? And why are they NOT committing when they do?

In my opinion, this topic could go on for days! But I'll sum it up like this. WOMEN are the REASON men CAN'T find a GOOD WOMAN... In a world of instantaneousness, both men and women want things NOW. Whatever happened to patience? These days women are bending over backwards to make themselves "shine" versus the other women out there. No one is willing to wait anymore. A lot of women today have sex with a man within the first week of meeting him. They invite a stranger into their homes or go into a strangers home way too quickly and are eager to either cook, clean or make love to a man to try to win his favor. When are women going to realize that she and every other "Tonya, Denise & Jane" is making the same great attempt, effort and MISTAKE! Because of us, these men have WAY TOO MANY OPTIONS and none of us are standing out from the rest. For example, if you aren't available to cook, clean or make love to him, he can whip out his iPhone and find plan B, C & D that will take good care of him that night. Why should they commit?! They've got a "farm full of cows and they're getting the milk for FREE."

Men are more than likely to commit to the woman that is not desperately throwing herself at him, attempting to use him (shout out to my "gold diggers") and to the woman that is not doing what EVERY other woman is doing for him. Ladies, please realize that we all think our COOKING, our CLEANING and our "Vah-Jay-Jay" (Vagina)/SEX is way better than the NEXT CHICK. It just ain't so! Someone out there will always be able to "burn" in the kitchen better than you, is so organized and clean it's insane (shout out to my girl Tyya!) and please believe, it's someone doing mind blowing, toe curling "tricks" in the bedroom, you've never even heard of...

So, what's a girl to do? Be true to yourself. I'm almost willing to bet that a man can appreciate a woman more that is genuine, knows who she is, knows what she wants out of life, speaks very openly about her ideals and thoughts, is secure with who she is (and not worried about the next girl), knows how to laugh, have fun and it would help if you enjoyed the game of football, at least a little bit. LOL!

I can only speak from my experiences. And if I had to say what made my boyfriend commit to me, I would honestly say it was because I know how to kick back, laugh and enjoy the simpler things in life. I'm wasn't searching for an "ATM" or a man that was going to cater to my every need. I waited for a man that shared the same ideals as me, similar views on the future, has a great sense of humor and someone I can "battle" through the hard times with and still feel TRIUMPHANT in the midst of a storm.

So ladies, stop trying to overly nurture and pamper a man. If not you'll end up with a spoiled and lazy man that doesn't feel the need to participate in the growth of you all's relationship. More than likely, he'll just kick back and enjoy the ride. NO GOOD.

Men, humble yourselves. Stop wasting your time on "fly by nights..." You're letting some good women slip through your fingers all because you want to be "Prince Akeem" and "Sow your royal oats"... That's TV. This is reality. We're not getting any younger people. And one day, when you're up in age, your looks and "sexy" body will not be existent or important. It'll be all about companionship, knowing and trusting the person you spend the rest of your life with and LOVE.

Fellas, just don't get too complacent. Ladies, be true to yourself. Both need to learn how to take the time to hear each other out. And the mentality of "what can you do for me?" should not be a focal point in the process of learning about someone. In the technique of getting to know a GOOD MAN or WOMAN, everything NOT being about you, must come into play very early in the game.

GOOD PEOPLE find GOOD PEOPLE...

Where are my gentlemen? I want to hear your thoughts.

~JUST JEMIA :0)

"A good woman is proud. She respects herself and others. She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs."

BLOG #5: Know Your Status... (WORLD AIDS DAY -- December 1st)

Do you know your status? Can you honestly say, you regularly have testing (at least 1 to 2 times a year) done for STDS, HIV & AIDS? As much as I would like to believe that people do take the time to have this testing done, there are SO MANY out there that are AFRAID to know the truth.

Across the world, December 1st is recognized as World AIDS Day & the month of December is AIDS Awareness month. Starting in 1988, World AIDS Day is about raising money, increasing awareness, fighting prejudice & improving education.

Many people are misinformed about who SHOULD and who SHOULD not worry about getting tested for HIV/AIDS.

Read the following questions:

1. Have you had unprotected sex without knowing for sure that your partner was not HIV infected?
2. Have you had unprotected sex with someone you know has HIV or AIDS?
3. Have you had a sexually transmitted disease like genital herpes or syphilis? Having sexually transmitted diseases makes it easier to get HIV?
4. Have you had unprotected sex with a man or woman who has had multiple sex partners?
5. Have you had unprotected sex with someone who uses injectable drugs or shares needles?
6. Have you had unprotected sex with a man who has had sex with another man?
7. Have you paid a man or woman to have sex with you?
8. Have you had unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you should make it your business to get tested. Be responsible and know your status.

Whether you've know someone with HIV/AIDS, have lost someone close to you from this illness, or maybe you have no emotional connection to the disease at all, EVERYONE must do their share. Know your status, give to the cause, and educate others on this very REAL disease. Proper education is the only way for people to understand, know the causes, prevent the spreading of this disease and lower the prejudices or fears people may have about AIDS.

EDUCATE YOURSELF.

WHAT'S YOUR STATUS? DO YOU REALLY KNOW?

~JUST JEMIA :o)

This blog is dedicated to the people that I know(knew), know(knew) of, and/or love or have loved that are fighting or have fought this disease. Regardless of the lifestyle you've chosen or chose, I love you for being EXACTLY who you are, and blessing me in SO MANY ways. I LOVE YOU. GOD BLESS.

BLOG #4: Why Be The MAIN Woman, When You Should Be The ONLY Woman?

This is a question I constantly ask when I hear friends or associates knowingly and consciously accept the position of the "OTHER WOMAN..."

Ladies, I know it's tough out there and from our point of view, the pickings are slim. Where have all the good men gone?! But does that mean to throw our standards & morals to the wayside, and become the "sideline chick" to someone else's man? What's in the water here in 2009, going into 2010, that this kind of behavior is acceptable? HAVE WOMEN TRULY GOTTEN THIS DESPERATE?

These women's self-esteem, have gotten to an all time LOW, that they are willing to spend their time with a man that cannot & will not take them out in public on dates, will not treat them to the nicer things relationships have to offer, like meeting his family and friends. Why would anyone want that?!

I am slowly but surely starting to realize that so many women out there have given up on finding their OWN MAN, that they have become complacent enough to spend time with a man who is TAKEN.

I guess my first thought is KARMA & a DEATH WISH. I mean seriously?! Do you really want to risk getting choked, scratched, stabbed, cursed out or end up in court due to a disgruntled wife or girlfriend, because of a man that never loved you in the first place?!! And I will always be a believer in karma. If you're a "cheat" for the "cheater"... don't get mad when you "perfect" little world comes CRASHING DOWN when you find out that YOUR BOO has been getting it in with someone that's not you! Just a thought.

Now, I do know in some cases, men fail to inform women that they are committed to someone. So by the time the women realizes what's really going on, it's too late. Feelings have formed, intimacy has probably already come to fruition and there's an MAD WOMAN that feels extremely violated. Those are the men that are ALL ABOUT SELF. Whether they are married or in a relationship, they are only focused on SELF. Ditch his behind, try not to kill him and repent for messing with a married man (unknowingly).

In both scenarios, I try to explain to people that "WOMEN HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OF THERE LIVES..." They control, who they spend they're time with, who they choose to let in (literally), who they choose to fall in love with, who they choose to make babies with, who they choose to marry, etc. Women have to be conscious of their surroundings, focused on the kind of person they're loving, etc. So when things don't work out, even though you CHOSE to be the other woman... guess what??? You can ONLY BE MAD AT YOU.

The most pathetic thing in the world to see, is a lady that knew she wasn't someone's MAIN WOMAN, but kept pretending to herself that she was, get upset, freak out, go crazy & try to make the man miserable because things didn't workout how she thought it was going to.

Newsflash! That's what happens when you're NOT his #1.

Pick your face up off the floor, learn from your mistake and MOVE FORWARD.

If your "man" is not showcasing you to the world, makes excuses when you want to go out in public, starts avoiding your calls, texts or emails... you might want to investigate... you're probably not the ONLY ONE.

Be smart! Don't get distraught. I can't say it enough. BE PATIENT. The one that GOD made for you is OUT THERE. You shouldn't have to manipulate or force things to work in your favor. You will only end up with a broken heart and another "beat down" to your self-esteem because things didn't work out the way you visualized or tried to plan.

To my "OTHER WOMEN" out there. Get a backbone honey, stop trying to mess with what's not yours. We love our men, but we know that they are easily tempted. Just because a man "wants" you, doesn't mean that he really "WANTS" you. He just wants you right then... And if being a quick fix is cool with you... poor girl... (smh) In the end, he's going home... to his #1.

WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO BE #2???

ijs.

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Blog #3: What's In A NOOK???

Do you know what a NOOK is?

I refer to "my nook" on a regular basis and most people look puzzled when I say it. You've got to be a DIEHARD "Sex And The City" fan (like myself... it's a Carrie and Aidan thing!) to understand the term.

How many of you love getting in his NOOK? Sounds kind of wild huh? LOL! It's actually quite simple and G-Rated.

The nook is that oh so comfortable resting spot where a girl can nestle her head when lying with her sweetie. it's that little spot between his neck & shoulder, or in his arm with her head on his chest where she finds comfort and security as she drifts off to sleep. TA-DA! Simple Right?!

In various articles I've read that when one partner (typically the man) lies face up in a "nook-like" position, it indicates a strong ego and a sense of entitlement. The woman's head on his shoulder suggests that she is the more dependent and compliant one - almost as though she is "looking at the world from his perspective". This position reflects a high level of trust and strong commitment. Psychologically, this represents an attempt to focus total attention on your partner, even in sleep.

Ladies, have you lied in your NOOK lately? It's the most comfortable & secure spot to cozy up in after a long and stressful day!

To the men out there, are you lying in bed with your back turned to your partner? If so, STOP, and rekindle the flame by pulling her in and giving her the reassurance that you still care for her. Make her feel secure and that you're STILL her protector. I promise you, it might spark some much needed fireworks!!!

For my singles out there, if your new "interest" pulls you in his nook or fellas, if the young lady attempts to curl up in yours, rest assure... there's chemistry. :o)

Goodnight! I'm about to go snuggle in my "NOOK!"

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Blog #2: UNDERWEAR: To Wear Them Or NOT To Wear Them?

So, I told you my posts were going to be a bit random, sometimes a bit "off color" but they are TRUE TO LIFE thoughts based on recent conversations or experiences I've had... :o)

So, there's panties, thongs, g-strings, boxers, boxer briefs, briefs, bloomers, knickers, drawers... the list could go on and on...

Lately I've been coming across people who openly admit that they DON'T WEAR underwear...

Do you wear underwear? How do you personally feel about going "commando?" LOL!

For women, most claim they don't wear underwear because of the unsightly panty lines, they prefer to let it "breathe," or they just like the way it makes them feel free "down there"...

On the other hand, women who ALWAYS wear underwear claim that they thought it was disgusting not to wear underwear. That it's unsanitary, ruins your clothing and has got to be uncomfortably awkward!

For the "free-balling" men, they claimed that it was just comfortable and enjoyed the way it felt... While the other guys said that not wearing underwear was uncomfortable and caused chafing or irritation.

To each his own, I guess?! LOL!

How would you feel, if you found out your date, significant other or spouse didn't wear underwear? Ladies, would you think the guy was weird or nasty? Or would you think it was kind of sexy and adventurous?

Fellas, if a lady tells you that she doesn't wear panties, is she automatically labeled as being "easy" or a "freak" or is she just a woman that knows her comfort levels??

Upon my research, and I even took the time out to ask my gynecologist, and he stated that, "it is very healthy not to wear underwear, as it keeps the area dry and cool."

So my thoughts are, many women and men don't wear underwear at all. Ladies, if you wear very short skirts then it is probably wiser to wear underwear, but if your skirts are knee length or you wear pants, go ahead. It's completely OK to not wear "undies." In fact, it has been proven that some underwear are worse for you than wearing nothing at all. Panties made of non-cotton fabrics that don't breathe can trap moisture, warmth and secretions which can cause bacteria to grow. And we all know... BACTERIA, is NOT what you want... yuck...

So, ultimately, this boils down to a PERSONAL CHOICE... Either you're all about the freedom down there, or you're NOT.

So are you wondering, "do I wear underwear?" LOL! That's only for me & my "other half" to know! *wink*

Is one way "wrong" and another way "right?" What's your thoughts?

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Blog #1: Is Chivalry Dead? Where's My Knight In Shining Armor?

***THIS ONE IS FOR THE LADIES*** (men feel free to comment)

Lately, I've noticed so many women around me are in search of that "Knight In Shining Armor." Is this man mythical or REALITY?! Is Chivalry REALLY DEAD?!

I honestly believe that it's not! I PROMISE YOU THAT! If I can manage to find a GENTLEMAN that loves being with his woman and attending to her needs and not worried what his boys think about it... I'm convinced EVERY deserving woman can find the same...

Just stay prayed up... DON'T GO SEARCHING, and ALLOW YOURSELF to be PURSUED... Don't get DESPERATE like so many women out there do! That's MISTAKE #1! NOT ALL MEN ARE PIGS... The good one's ARE OUT THERE :) Just be patient.

I'll be honest. After an awful relationship in my early 20s... I promised myself I WOULD NOT settle for less... while I did date and had "friends"... I said I would NEVER give my heart, until I knew that the man was worth giving it too...

IT TOOK SIX YEARS... but it was worth every second... in those six years of "me time." I learned a lot, matured, and was being molded into the woman that I needed to be for my soul mate...

My present relationship has not been perfect by ANY MEANS... ever couple has their hurtles and UPS and DOWNS... but even though those "little" bumps were frustrating, it's only brought us closer. It's different when you're in a disagreement with a total ASSHOLE that isn't the man you're destined to be with... versus the disagreement with the man that you know for a FACT is on YOUR TEAM...

Growth, Communication, Overcoming The Problems That Arise TOGETHER and Trust... Will lead you to the LOVE that most dream of...

Even the toughest and most independent woman wants to be loved and need companionship. Every woman has the instinct to want to experience TRUE LOVE... If you know someone who doesn't, I have a HARD time believing that...

It's OK to feel vulnerable and wanting someone there FOR YOU... we're human...

No one desires to live life ALONE.

He's out there...

I just want women to stay encouraged...

I was at my WITS END... feeling depressed when out of NO WHERE...

it happened...

and it happened when I finally stopped thinking about it.

But we as women have to realize we ARE NOT PERFECT... and the man you dream about is PROBABLY not the man that will ACTUALLY come along...

My significant other wasn't what I visualized growing up, as MY TYPE... but something made me relax and see him for what he was...

that ended up being MINE. :)

I'm thankful I had the insight to get my nose out of the air... sit my fast ass down and see what this MAN was about...

LADIES, we're not perfect princesses. Therefore don't expect your knight in shining armor to look flawless (we're not), have the perfect profession (we probably don't) & have the model life (I'm pretty sure ours isn't)...

Be careful who you REJECT because your KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR may have just walked out the door...

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Introducing... "JUST JEMIA..."

Welcome to my blog! This blog has been a long time in the making... It has evolved from the many comments, posts and status updates on my Facebook page. Numerous FB friends have been pushing me to take my outlandish, honest, "no holds barred," that's "JUST JEMIA" thoughts to the blog level... Well... HERE GOES NOTHING!

I don't really have a MAIN topic that I will be focusing on in my writings, but I'm just going to go with the flow. My hopes are to discuss and share my opinions on REAL LIFE TOPICS, ISSUES, CONTROVERSIES, RELATIONSHIPS, DEBATES, HUMOROUS SCENARIOS, etc., that will appeal to EVERYONE. This is not a "male bashing" women ONLY blog... LOL. ;) To get the ball rolling, I will start off with a few entries and thoughts taken from my Facebook comments.

Feel free to share with me the topics you'd like to discuss and I'd love to read your comments & feedback! I will be posting as often as possible!

Here we go!

Enjoy!

JUST JEMIA :o)