BLOG #23: What Are You Leaving Behind In 2014?

What are you leaving behind in 2014 and changing in 2015? 

Here's my list...

• I'm leaving behind negative people who always see the pessimistic side of things in a situation. Especially those who are constantly speaking negativity over others. Life is so much better when you make a strong effort to stay positive.

• I'm leaving behind trying to explain myself to those that I respect and love. If you don't get it, don't get why, or don't get me, that's OK. But I don't owe anyone an explanation at this point in my life. But I still love you though... lol.

• I'm leaving behind people who only come around when it benefits them. But as soon as you do something they don't like, or things don't go their way, they totally forget about all that you've done for them. Instead of solving the problem, they fixate on one small issue, and turn their back on you.

• I'm leaving behind over-extending myself to people who have a sense of self-entitlement and don't appreciate my time and efforts. First time, shame on them. Second time, shame on me, for being too nice.

• I'm leaving behind those who don't express how they REALLY feel. It really frustrates me to hear from others how someone else feels. Especially when that person could have expressed those sentiments directly to the source involved. Face your issues and problems head on, deal with them directly... Leave others and the messy drama out of it.

• I'm leaving behind those who cast stones and hide their hands. If I do something wrong and you ask me, I'll admit it. But nothing irks me more than people who disrespect you or try to throw you under the bus, then smile in your face. My tolerance for this kind of stuff is at an all time low.

These are the kinds of people and situations that I will be avoiding in 2015, due to my experiences that took place in 2014.

Who or what are you leaving behind in 2014???

My hopes and wishes is that 2015 will be AWESOME for us all!


-JUST JEMIA

BLOG #23: What About The Husbands???

I had a good talk with a friend today and we discussed some interesting points. As a society we tend to praise mothers, good fathers and even wives (anniversaries/Valentine's Day are usually aimed more towards the wife). But how often do you see husbands being praised? As a new wife, I am teaching myself to not only pat myself on the back when accomplishing wifely duties, but always praising my husband for his support, efforts and sacrifices. While discussing our thoughts with my friend, I came across these thought-provoking "wife" quotes.

"Too many of us have virtually no respect for what a husband really needs, but we have unlimited respect for our own needs. And we’re not only hurting our husbands-–we’re hurting ourselves."

"We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge our spouses by their actions."

"Marriage is meant to be more about your surrender than about your satisfaction."

"Don’t let another day go by where the health of your relationship is sacrificed for a false sense of peace."

"You might think that you have all of the answers and need to protect your husband from making the wrong choice, but nagging, pouting, losing your temper and complaining aren’t going to make him a better man."

"Never think that you are doing your children a favor by prioritizing them over your husband."

"A child-centered marriage is a recipe for disaster. Teach children early that their “happiness” is not Mom or Dad’s reason for living." 

Do any of these quotes hit close to home? How often do we forget that our husbands are human as well and have feelings too. None of us are perfect. Your spouse is your life partner, not your child, treat them as such. Sometimes our complaints and irritations towards our husbands can be a deflection from our own insecurities and the changes we need to make within ourselves. Before desecrating him in front of your children, your family, your friends or in public, STOP, THINK AND PRAY. Always remember that actions and words can be forgiven, but they are rarely forgotten.

Ladies, cherish your husbands. Focus on what they do right and what they do good for you. So often we fixate on all of the negativity and we forget to praise them. Society forgets to praise them. All husbands are not great, but neither are all wives... Before you point the finger and place the blame, look at yourself in the mirror first. Then rediscover the feelings, the emotions, the love and the happiness that made you want to marry him in the first place.

Much love to all of the awesome husbands out there! Thanks for all of your support, drive, determination and love. And a special thanks to my love of 6 1/2 years, my amazing husband of almost 8 months, Adrian. I am so grateful for a husband who pays the bills, can cook, wash dishes, does the laundry, cleans the house, takes
[ out the trash, keeps up the yard, washes our cars, maintains our cars, pumps my gas, goes grocery shopping, massages my feet after HE has worked for 12 hours, etc. This list could go on and on. While I do most of the stuff listed above as well, there are SO MANY times when I don't have to worry or lift a finger because he tells me, "I've got it," with a smile. Thank you Mr. Storey for making me feel loved, making me feel beautiful and making me feel complete. I love you Baby!


~JUST JEMIA :o) 

On Our Wedding Day ~ November 2, 2013

BLOG #22: AMERICA'S TOP COUPLE: THE EXPERIENCE

I can't believe I haven't blogged in over 5 months! Bad Jemia! lol. Adrian and I have just been SO BUSY, I haven't had a chance to sit down and "write" (type). :)

But here I am, refreshed, happy and loving life! We've been doing a lot of traveling and had a really great summer! A summer we'll never forget!

After officially being chosen as one of "America's Top Couple" on April 11, 2011, things picked up very quickly. We were in constant contact with people from New York in preparations for our trip to NYC and our photo shoot! Shout out to Nancy & Jaime of Time Inc.!

On April 27th, only two days before we were scheduled to depart for New York, tragedy struck our area. A F4 tornado had ravaged our state. And major damage was done to North Pratt City, only a half a mile from Adrian's house. We were clearly shaken by the aftermath. Some of our very own friends and family were greatly affected by the storm and some lost their homes. While we were excited about our upcoming trip to NYC, our hearts were very heavy for the place we call home.

On April 29th we caught a 5:30am flight to LaGuardia airport! When we landed in New York, we headed to the baggage claim, where were were greeted by our driver who was holding a sign with my last name on it. The driver grabbed our bags and we were off! Headed to the big city! Our first stop was our hotel, SoHo Grand in Manhattan. It was a very chic, contemporary & modern hotel and the service was amazing. We were immediately greeted with a large basket full of goodies from our friends at K-Y :) *wink* One of the amenities of the hotel was to have a pet fish in your room during your stay. For those that know me well, know I can be a cornball and I LOVE ANIMALS, so I immediately requested a fish! 10 minutes later a Blackmoor Goldfish was delivered to our room and I named him "Jay-Z" (don't ask, I love Jay-Z and I was in NYC... It worked for me! LOL).


Once we were settled in our suite, we took a stroll around Chinatown and then made our way to Pulino's and had some authentic Italian pizza. After taking in our surroundings for a couple of hours, we decided we wanted to walk over the Brooklyn bridge. It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. (I stopped writing this blog in September of 2011)

******

Apparently I didn't complete this blog. And it's now 2014. LOL. Bad BLOGGER. 
Long story short, our experience in NYC was one of our best memories. The photo shoot was magical and the people were awesome. The exact location of our photo shoot was in the same studio that Beyoncé filmed her "Love On Top" video. Being a Beyoncé fan I thought that was totally awesome! Ha! So... We enjoyed our "15 minutes of fame," we even signed a few magazines (yes, seriously, people asked us for our autographs. lol.), and look forward to telling our kids and grandkids about us being in TWO national magazines and our trip to New York. 


~JUST JEMIA :o) 

BLOG #21: WE'RE AMERICA'S TOP COUPLE™!!!

And America's Top Couple™ is *drumroll please* --- Jemia & Adrian!!! And Karen & Rick and Jackie & Christofer! We are so ecstatic to be voted for, supported and given the title of "America's Top Couple™" I think we will wear it well! *smile*

This journey began in January of 2011 when Adrian's high school classmate, Rashida contacted me on facebook and said that she thought Adrian and I would be perfect for this contest! I read up on the contest and found the ad for it in December's Essence magazine. After explaining it to Adrian and he seemed enthusiastic, I went for it!

We had to post a photo of us and write a 250-word essay explaining what makes our relationship special. This was the entry that I submitted:

"Laughter, loving wholeheartedly, and believing in each other's dreams, is the foundation to our relationship. Three years ago, a series of coincidences brought us together and we've been inseparable ever since. Our relationship continues to stay fresh, fiery, exhilarating and special because we have a common goal to keep each other happy. Keeping it traditional has been a major factor. Love story scenarios like picnics in the park, publicly holding hands and/or caressing, slow dancing, him bringing me flowers, long walks together, surprising him with his favorite meal, romantic weekend get-a-ways to relax and enjoy something new. The mushier the better! Being in love and best friends has been one of the most favored experiences we've ever had. The ability to be who we truly are, the good, great or bad, it's accepted and the love is unconditional. Through trust and communication our relationship has evolved into something so powerful, that even we're amazed at how connected we are to one another. The sight of him makes my heart race, his kiss makes me melt and his embrace is my "security blanket." Our biggest factor to keeping our relationship special is LAUGHTER. Learning to giggle, chuckle and sometimes burst out laughing at each other is not only healing, it enhances our intimacy, and allows us to get over life's hurdles together. It's been our experience that mutual laughter and playful moments together are an essential component that keeps our relationship strong and healthy! The big smiles on our faces say it all!"

After clicking "send" we anxiously waited... There were thousands of entries and I really didn't know how it would turn out. There were a lot of attractive couples and great entries, so we just hoped for the best! On March 9th, we got an email congratulating us and telling us that we had been chosen from thousands and made it to the TOP 10 FINALISTS!! We were shocked and ecstatic, and the voting was about to begin!

For 20 days, Adrian and I solicited votes, we emailed close family and friends, college buddies, sorority sisters, fraternity brothers, college alumni groups, etc. I posted a daily reminder to vote on my facebook status, and we even had the contest announced on our local radio stations, 95.7 JAMZ (Thanks Mary!) and 98.7 KISS (Thanks Chris!)... 95.7 JAMZ even posted an article about us on their website!

Things were going so well, that we decided to create a video expressing our thanks and appreciation to those who had voted for us! And the video included a slideshow, giving friends, family and voters a glimpse into our relationship! You can check out our video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6jeO1i_phk

Voting ended on March 30th and we were happy to have received so much love and support! We were told we would not get the results until "Mid-April," so for almost 2 weeks we had to anxiously wait to find out if we had won.

On April 11th, Adrian's 32nd birthday, he and I were relaxing after a weekend of celebrating his special day. We were about to get our day started, but I needed to handle some work related business via my iPhone. I was looking for a contract that I was expecting through my email... As I was scrolling down my list of emails I saw one that said, "CONGRATULATIONS - You have been selected as a GRAND PRIZE couple in the AMERICA'S TOP COUPLE™ Contest!" I couldn't believe it! Before I said anything to Adrian, I read the entire email first. Then I walked over to him and said, "I have a birthday surprise for you, something super exciting!" He looked at me really puzzled like "Huh?"... lol! I handed him my phone so he could read the email, after skimming the first couple of lines he looked at me and said, "ARE YOU SERIOUS!? We won!!!" He sat up from watching TV, grabbed me close to him and asked for a celebratory kiss! We couldn't stop smiling, and was so excited for the rest of his birthday! Talk about PERFECT timing!

We had to keep quiet about our win until all paper work was completed and the announcement was made! Well they finally posted the winners!!!

We are still shocked and amazed and excited about our up and coming romantic get away! People keep asking what we won, well this is what we get: A cash prize, we leave for NYC in a couple of weeks for a romantic get away (all expense paid -- flight, hotel, car to take us to and from), we'll have a professional photo shoot while we are there and our photo will be in a National magazine by August!

We are SO EXCITED to have this opportunity! All in the name of LOVE! Love it! My facebook and twitter friends know I'm ALL ABOUT #TeamLove!!!

Thank you so much for all of the votes, support, kind words and believing in Adrian and I! We will carry the title of "America's Top Couple™" with MUCH PRIDE and LOVE!

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Dedicating this blog to the two other couple's who are also "America's Top Couple™!" Karen & Rick and Jackie & Christofer!!! We look forward to meeting you all in NEW YORK!!!

BLOG #20: JEMIA & ADRIAN for "AMERICA'S TOP COUPLE!"

Adrian and I need your VOTES!!! A friend of ours (Thanks Rashida!) suggested a contest to me that she saw in ESSENCE magazine back in January. She thought Adrian and I would be PERFECT for it :) After running it by Adrian and he seemed enthusiastic about the competition, I entered our names in the nationwide contest. The contest is titled "AMERICA'S TOP COUPLE!" I had to write a 250 word essay describing what makes our relationship special? And surprise, surprise, we were chosen (out of THOUSANDS of entries) as one of the TOP 10 finalists! We are so excited!

WE NEED YOUR VOTES! (you can vote everyday)

For all people that are on Facebook (you must have a facebook account) I am kindly asking if you would PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE vote for us!

HERE ARE THE STEP BY STEP DIRECTIONS: #1) Go to http://www.facebook.com/kycouples ("Couples Place by K-Y Brand") #2) Click on "Like" #3) Click on "Allow" so that you may view the contest #4) You may have to click on "Contest" to the far left. Or the contest will automatically pop up! Click on our picture & click on "Vote" (we are on the 2nd row, in the middle, and our entry is titled "BEST FRIENDS AND LOVERS FOREVERMORE") You may be prompted to fill out a very brief form (only once, the first time you vote) to receive other giveaways when you play the "PLAY TO WIN GAME." Some people have already won $100 visa gift cards, a $250 travelocity.com gift card, and so many other prizes! Believe it or not, the other day, I was voting for us and I won a couple's massage valued at $160!!! How about that?! You have a chance to win something EVERYDAY because you can vote once daily!

This contest is sponsored by K-Y! :) *gasp!* It has truly amazed me how people have this "taboo" stigma with K-Y! Yes, K-Y is a trusted brand that has enhanced many intimate scenarios. While mainly known for it's lubricants, K-Y offers so many other great products to add some "spice" in the bedroom! And I truly believe that this contest is a great way for K-Y to be recognized as a company and brand that makes fabulous products and not just "K-Y jelly" as some of my friends have so eloquently put it! LOL! Go to http://www.k-y.com and check out their products!

Adrian and I are OK and confident with the company that is sponsoring this contest! Thanks K-Y! We're all adults here right?! *smile* We have no concerns of being connected with anything that is inappropriate or endangering to our personal reputations. We are just thrilled that amongst thousands we were chosen as TOP 10 finalists to show the world how much we love each other! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, that we will remember for the rest of our lives!

If we win, we will receive a ROMANTIC get-a-way to New York City (including $1000 spending money)! We will have a professional photo shoot, and those images will be featured in a national magazine! How fun is that?! They are going to choose a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place couple!

We are SO ECSTATIC!

Please pass this along to as many people as possible! Even if you don't have a Facebook account please spread the word to people who do, and tell them to VOTE FOR US!!!

Thank you so much for your time & support!

Wish us luck!

Sincerely,

Jemia & Adrian

~JUST JEMIA :o)

BLOG #19: "Social Networking: What's Too Much Information About Your Relationship?"

I'm blogging today about a topic that comes up in conversation all the time. This is not just geared towards dating relationships, it can also relate to friendships, marriages (good or bad standing), and so many other relationships or connections you can have with an individual.

Some people use Facebook or Twitter as a means of entertainment, some use it as a place to vent and some people use it as a place to be open and honest about who they are. It just varies from person to person.

I'm keying in on dating relationships. Last week I was on Facebook and came across a status update from one of my guy friends that said, "Why do women get on here and try to make other women feel bad about their relationship status by posting everything that their man does for them???" I re-read it about 3 times and pondered on his question. Being someone that is generally open about the happiness that my relationship brings me via social networks, I was shocked by his point of view. And I had honestly never looked at my own posts in that light...

I continued to read other responses to his status update: "I'm not going to do that about my man, and have other females trying to push up on what's mine! Hell no! That's how mess gets started!" --- "Yep and you know it's fake cause if your man does something or buys you something, you must not be use to it if you gotta broadcast it all the time..." --- "They're just campaigning to get him taken. They'll be broadcasting his infidelities next. Bless their heart..."

*blank stare*

I was dismayed by the negativity oozing from the responses. Not all people are malicious or premeditated in their thoughts when posting things on FB or Twitter. Some people, like myself are just sharing what they want to about their life. With no intentions to hurt anyone. With that, I just had to respond and shed some light on MY intentions and the reasonings behind my posts. They are far from pessimistic.

My response: I was browsing FB from my phone... and this status made me pull my laptop back out and log on so I could type... A LOT...

As a woman who PROUDLY proclaims my love for my significant other on here, it has nothing to do with me being FAKE, BOASTFUL or intending to inflict HURT on anyone...

#1 If any woman feels bad about what I post about my relationship and what my significant other has purchased me... they might need to check themselves and their self-esteem. I haven't been in a relationship all of my life, and therefore know what it's like to watch my friends who were happily dating, engaged, married, etc. when I had NO ONE. I never took it personally. I just celebrated their happiness and knew that MY TIME WOULD COME.

#2 On the contrary, what I do post on here... whether it be about what he and I are doing together, what I gave him, or what he gave me is NOT posted with the intentions to make ANYONE FEEL BAD. I'm just celebrating my happiness and proclaiming it to the world. I'm entitled to do that. It's not everyday that you find THE ONE, or YOUR SOULMATE. SO... I'm seizing the moment and rejoicing in the love I have found. NOT TO BRAG. BUT TO CHERISH EVERY SECOND OF THIS MOMENT, I MAY NEVER GET AGAIN.

#3 Be careful as to perceive things so negatively. You'd be surprised how many single women express genuine HAPPINESS and JOY on here for my positive relationship. Telling me that they LOVE to see the posts and pictures about us because it gives them hope that a GOOD MAN does exist, and that they will find their "Prince." I've received inbox messages for days to show you that not ALL women are hurt, or intimidated by another woman's happiness.

#4 If you think that women like myself who share certain details on their relationship on social networks is FAKE... so be it. Rest assure, ever flower, piece of jewelry or outfit I get from him is accepted with genuine love... To broadcast it or NOT is my choice. But it doesn't mean that the woman is not use to receiving things. It's just a choice of her being OPEN or not. I've had a few of my friends tell me that they enjoy seeing the things I get or give... because it gives them ideas of what they could get their boyfriend or husband. And some of my single friends have said it's taught them to believe that there are men out there willing to do nice things for them. So I definitely disagree...

#5 As far as a man being "taken" based off of the posting of his girlfriend's Facebook page is funny to me. It's about being confident in your relationship and trusting your partner. Females can try 24/7 to get his attention, but what we have is faith based, strong and SOLID. Only a weak man will accept the advances of another woman, when he knows what he has is TRUE, TRUSTWORTHY and fits the description of the woman he's always dreamed of... CONFIDENCE in what you have goes a long way. I'm not worried. *shrugs*

#6 To each his own. What people choose to do in their lives, or on their FB walls or Twitter pages, is a personal choice. You don't have to like it, or you can love it... You can turn your head, or you can LOOK. It really is that simple. But never ASSUME why someone is doing what they're doing... I've experienced a lot in my life (the verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, being used because I was too nice or naive) and flaunting my relationship is not what I'm doing. YOU DON'T KNOW MY STORY. OR MY WALK IN LIFE. OR WHY I'M SO DAMN HAPPY ABOUT FINDING MY TRUE LOVE. My intentions are to give hope and be proof that true love does still exists. And I've had plenty of friends to prove that my point is being taken the way I intended; in a positive manner. NOT NEGATIVELY OR TO HURT SOMEONE. I know what it's like to want love, desire love and feel like it's never going to come. I just chose to stay positive and celebrate my friends good fortune when they got engaged, started a new relationship, got married... instead of being jealous hearted or envious.

#7 Be mindful that on facebook and/or Twitter, you're dealing with MANY different personalities and characteristics... What you might see as drastic or over the top is just an "OPEN MINDED" person's way of expressing themselves. Not everyone feels that they have to be PRIVATE & "hush hush" about EVERY single aspect or detail of their life. Respect people for who they choose to be, and share about their life, even if you don't get it.

#8 At the end of the day. If you don't like like what someone is posting, or disagree with it... there's always the delete/block button. Make the choice NOT to see it. People are NOT going to change who they are, or what they post, just for YOU.

But the way you're viewing these women that are proud of their relationships is not the case for ALL OF US...

Just my two cents..."

I had to get my point across. I'm not a cynical individual. And I refuse to let people make assumptions about me or any other man or woman who chooses to be elated, forthright and openly expressive about their relationship, friendship, partnership or any other "ship" in your life...

Before joining a social network, you have to be clear that you are opening yourself up to an audience of sorts. For friends and family to see what you're up to, for stalkers/enemies to dislike you even more (LOL) and for maybe even that individual that has a crush on you and is too scared to approach you in person. What you post can be viewed or taken in many different ways and you have to be aware of that. As long as you know the true intentions of your pictures, comments, status updates, and/or tweets it should not matter what others think.

I've had people tell me, "you post too much about your relationship online..." My inner thought says, "MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS..." LOL! But my usual reply is, "I'm not ashamed to be OPENLY in love and could care less about what others (you) think. If you don't like it, or don't understand it, DELETE me" or like Oxford Dictionary's word of the year for 2009, UNFRIEND me (YES! It's a word in the dictionary now). People attempt to read way too deeply in the intentions or target of someone's posts, pictures, etc. on the internet. STOP IT. There's nothing wrong with creative expression or someone just being true to who they are.

But I do find it hard to watch individuals publicly defame or attack their husband, wife, significant other, ex-spouses, child's other parent, family members, friends, etc. online. For example: "My husband is such an inconsiderate ass, I don't even know why I married him" --- "My baby's daddy is a dead beat, and I wish I never messed around with him" --- (name) is such a bitch, our friendship sucked ANYWAY."

And how can we oversee the extremely negative, depressing, desperate and downtrodden status updates and posts about how BAD their life sucks and how no one loves them. Whether direct, indirect, or subliminal, defeatist or gloomy posts are usually shocking or painful to read. No one likes a "Debbie Downer"...

While I still say, be true to who you are and express how you truly feel. I personally refuse to allow my "audience" to see me down and out, angry or viewed in a negative light. To each his own... The majority of my "babbling" online is upbeat, positive, happy, random and full of wit or wisdom. I'm just baffled at the people who can see ALL of the negativity or hate trickling down their "newsfeed" or "timeline," BUT STILL pinpoint my trivial, just for fun, posts about my happy, love life! LOL! Something is truly wrong with that picture! *shrugs*

But the choice is yours! Post what you like... and we as your "friends" or "followers" have the option to read your thoughts or NOT. It really IS that simple... Stop worrying about what the next woman or man is posting and focus on your own social networking!!!

~JUST JEMIA :o)

#TeamLove

BLOG #18: "GOOD MEN: They DO Exist"

J. S. this one's for you ;)

Many women often complain that all the GOOD men are either in serious relationships or married. Women also tend to categorize men as a power hungry, self-absorbed, money obsessed, physically abusive and sexually driven species. In some cases, this is indeed true, but there are many men who live in contrast to these stereotypes. While much is made of the fact that women suffer all types of abuse from men, so many good men, with compassionate and loving hearts, have had their lives turned upside down because of the actions of their wife, girlfriend or significant other. Unfortunately, their stories often go untold. Until now:

A self-proclaimed "Good Man" stated this:

"There ARE good guys out there... Trouble is, women just let us slip right under the radar, because we're not "fun", meaning: loud, obnoxious, arrogant, well-known around town, cocky, or cause a bunch of unnecessary drama.

Some good men, may be a little quieter, shyer, maybe sometimes a little awkward. But I'll tell you one thing we have that the cocky jerk doesn't have... A heart. Good guys that are in relationships for the right reasons, let ourselves be vulnerable like anyone in love should. It's too bad that many women are so used to being with "Mr. Tough Guy" (or some guy that can't even respect himself, let alone his girl) that they don't see the value in our "Good Guy" characteristics.

Instead, it's a lot of good guys getting labeled as "lame" or "weird" because of our good nature and putting ourselves out there. Any REAL man will show his emotions, especially to the one he loves. It's not about being "Mr. Macho" or looking for someone to "fix" because they have a million issues. It's about finding someone that is ALREADY good enough for you and that you can be vulnerable around each other and trust each other and be emotional together. To me that would be the greatest relationship.

The sad thing is, a lot of people don't know what it means to LOVE. All the world seems to know anymore is LUST. It's in our music, our entertainment, LUST is sadly, glorified in our society and it has an effect on most. LOVE is something different.

Do good guys exist? Most certainly... You just need to open your heart to new and different things/people/etc. It's a shame a lot of GREAT MEN, with GOOD AND CARING HEARTS have to wait around a while for love. Women wanting a good man, are most definitely missing out because they tolerate so much from men who could care less about them. But I guess there's a time and a place for everything."

With that being said, so many women have it in their head that they only like "ONE KIND" of man. What if that kind of man, just isn't good for you? Ladies, more than likely, the man that you LEAST suspect, is the perfect man for you. You just never know. Stop chasing men that have a KNOWN reputation for being a "womanizer" and has screwed half of the city. Stop going after men that you know for a FACT is not compatible with you and will NOT treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. Stop running up behind men that you know ONLY wants you for one thing... SEX. Stop pursuing that married man that cheats on his wife constantly... Do you really think he won't do it to you to?!! *shaking my head*

And when did it become a bad thing for a man to want to spend most of his free time with his significant other? But is accepted more by his peers when he chooses to leave her at home, lonely, so he can get drunk with a bunch of guys? Ladies trust me, a GOOD MAN, will NEVER leave you alone all of the time, so that he can get "plastered," hang-out or go clubbin' with his buddies. A good man knows how to balance both worlds between his love-life and his friends, and won't let anyone stop him or patronize him for wanting to spend time with you and/or take care of your needs.

One thing I've always told my friends, if you want a GOOD MAN, you've got to be a GOOD WOMAN. So ask yourself that, do you TRULY possess the caring, nurturing, giving, selfless, team player characteristics that most GOOD WOMEN have? So before you can get a good man, you have to check yourself first. Think about it, most women who are selfish, materialistic, are known for being promiscuous and/or all about SELF first, are rarely seen in stable, LOVING relationships. So, sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself. Are YOU a good woman?

If so, value yourself more, open your eyes a little wider to new and different things, and a man you NEVER looked at in "that way" just may be the GOOD MAN you've been praying about. Stop cutting off your options and limiting yourself to what you THOUGHT was your kind of man. If you're dating a guy that thinks it's cowardly or feminine for a man to express his true feelings to his significant other, HE'S NOT THE ONE. A man that is able to be open with you and tell you how he really feels is the sure signs of a possible GOOD MAN. Give him a chance!

See ladies, good men are out there, and they are looking for loving, nurturing and committed relationships just as women are. However, as is the case for many women, they must battle the "ghosts" and insecurities that exist from previous relationships, and this makes it difficult for them to obtain, and maintain, a healthy and stable relationship. All that the good men out there want is to love and be loved, and in some cases they are more than willing to provide love, financial support and guidance to children that are not biologically theirs. In this day and age, where character and values are at the low end of the spectrum for many men, that speaks volumes!

There is no question that some men are heartless bastards, but there are also men who believe in having good, long-term, monogamous relationships and fight to maintain them. These men should be acknowledged, appreciated and respected. Contrary to popular belief, all men are NOT the same.

Ladies, if you've got yourself a good man, be happy and proud that he found you! And those that desire a good man, he's out there, don't give up. Be mindful of that nice guy or gentleman that you turned your nose up to... Pray, God knows the desires of your heart! And be sure you're open to new changes and new kinds of people.

GOOD MEN DO EXIST.

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Special acknowledgement to my other half (ACS), that has proven to be a GREAT MAN and loves me the way I deserve to be. And I also want to show love to the GOOD MEN out there, waiting patiently for the opportunity to be that good man and provider that you know you are. She's out there. You've just got to make her OPEN HER EYES a little wider! Good luck!