J. S. this one's for you ;)
Many women often complain that all the GOOD men are either in serious relationships or married. Women also tend to categorize men as a power hungry, self-absorbed, money obsessed, physically abusive and sexually driven species. In some cases, this is indeed true, but there are many men who live in contrast to these stereotypes. While much is made of the fact that women suffer all types of abuse from men, so many good men, with compassionate and loving hearts, have had their lives turned upside down because of the actions of their wife, girlfriend or significant other. Unfortunately, their stories often go untold. Until now:
A self-proclaimed "Good Man" stated this:
"There ARE good guys out there... Trouble is, women just let us slip right under the radar, because we're not "fun", meaning: loud, obnoxious, arrogant, well-known around town, cocky, or cause a bunch of unnecessary drama.
Some good men, may be a little quieter, shyer, maybe sometimes a little awkward. But I'll tell you one thing we have that the cocky jerk doesn't have... A heart. Good guys that are in relationships for the right reasons, let ourselves be vulnerable like anyone in love should. It's too bad that many women are so used to being with "Mr. Tough Guy" (or some guy that can't even respect himself, let alone his girl) that they don't see the value in our "Good Guy" characteristics.
Instead, it's a lot of good guys getting labeled as "lame" or "weird" because of our good nature and putting ourselves out there. Any REAL man will show his emotions, especially to the one he loves. It's not about being "Mr. Macho" or looking for someone to "fix" because they have a million issues. It's about finding someone that is ALREADY good enough for you and that you can be vulnerable around each other and trust each other and be emotional together. To me that would be the greatest relationship.
The sad thing is, a lot of people don't know what it means to LOVE. All the world seems to know anymore is LUST. It's in our music, our entertainment, LUST is sadly, glorified in our society and it has an effect on most. LOVE is something different.
Do good guys exist? Most certainly... You just need to open your heart to new and different things/people/etc. It's a shame a lot of GREAT MEN, with GOOD AND CARING HEARTS have to wait around a while for love. Women wanting a good man, are most definitely missing out because they tolerate so much from men who could care less about them. But I guess there's a time and a place for everything."
With that being said, so many women have it in their head that they only like "ONE KIND" of man. What if that kind of man, just isn't good for you? Ladies, more than likely, the man that you LEAST suspect, is the perfect man for you. You just never know. Stop chasing men that have a KNOWN reputation for being a "womanizer" and has screwed half of the city. Stop going after men that you know for a FACT is not compatible with you and will NOT treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. Stop running up behind men that you know ONLY wants you for one thing... SEX. Stop pursuing that married man that cheats on his wife constantly... Do you really think he won't do it to you to?!! *shaking my head*
And when did it become a bad thing for a man to want to spend most of his free time with his significant other? But is accepted more by his peers when he chooses to leave her at home, lonely, so he can get drunk with a bunch of guys? Ladies trust me, a GOOD MAN, will NEVER leave you alone all of the time, so that he can get "plastered," hang-out or go clubbin' with his buddies. A good man knows how to balance both worlds between his love-life and his friends, and won't let anyone stop him or patronize him for wanting to spend time with you and/or take care of your needs.
One thing I've always told my friends, if you want a GOOD MAN, you've got to be a GOOD WOMAN. So ask yourself that, do you TRULY possess the caring, nurturing, giving, selfless, team player characteristics that most GOOD WOMEN have? So before you can get a good man, you have to check yourself first. Think about it, most women who are selfish, materialistic, are known for being promiscuous and/or all about SELF first, are rarely seen in stable, LOVING relationships. So, sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself. Are YOU a good woman?
If so, value yourself more, open your eyes a little wider to new and different things, and a man you NEVER looked at in "that way" just may be the GOOD MAN you've been praying about. Stop cutting off your options and limiting yourself to what you THOUGHT was your kind of man. If you're dating a guy that thinks it's cowardly or feminine for a man to express his true feelings to his significant other, HE'S NOT THE ONE. A man that is able to be open with you and tell you how he really feels is the sure signs of a possible GOOD MAN. Give him a chance!
See ladies, good men are out there, and they are looking for loving, nurturing and committed relationships just as women are. However, as is the case for many women, they must battle the "ghosts" and insecurities that exist from previous relationships, and this makes it difficult for them to obtain, and maintain, a healthy and stable relationship. All that the good men out there want is to love and be loved, and in some cases they are more than willing to provide love, financial support and guidance to children that are not biologically theirs. In this day and age, where character and values are at the low end of the spectrum for many men, that speaks volumes!
There is no question that some men are heartless bastards, but there are also men who believe in having good, long-term, monogamous relationships and fight to maintain them. These men should be acknowledged, appreciated and respected. Contrary to popular belief, all men are NOT the same.
Ladies, if you've got yourself a good man, be happy and proud that he found you! And those that desire a good man, he's out there, don't give up. Be mindful of that nice guy or gentleman that you turned your nose up to... Pray, God knows the desires of your heart! And be sure you're open to new changes and new kinds of people.
GOOD MEN DO EXIST.
~JUST JEMIA :o)
Special acknowledgement to my other half (ACS), that has proven to be a GREAT MAN and loves me the way I deserve to be. And I also want to show love to the GOOD MEN out there, waiting patiently for the opportunity to be that good man and provider that you know you are. She's out there. You've just got to make her OPEN HER EYES a little wider! Good luck!
You NEVER disappoint. You also bring out a good point about wanting a good man while being s subpar woman. I wish more women would pay attention to this. There were some excellent comments by the young man as well. Often we tend to have tunnel vision and cannot see what is really there.
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed this post (just as I have the others) ! This is something that I constantly talk to my Daughter about. As a blossoming teenager,it's important that she is aware of each and every point you mentioned. For the longest time, I was "that woman". I finally realized that I needed to make changes to prepare myself for the man God intended for me to be with :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat blog as usual!!! As a man it is very frustrating to always hear that "there is no good men left" line. You think to yourself "What else do I have to do!! Im respectful, kind, hardworking!! Do you want "Ay shawty whacho na iz? Cause ill give that to you even though its not me" You even think of changing yourself because you see the type of men that women keep going for over and over and over again after they have been wronged over and over and over again. Like you said the guy you least expect is probably the guy who would treat you like gold but many women dont see that because its not the storybook image they protrayed and us men have that problem too. In closing I know I am the defenition of a good man and I believe that I fit some woman's defenition of one too. She and I just have to keep our eyes and ears open for each other. Looks are decieving but your heart isnt.
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