BLOG #4: Why Be The MAIN Woman, When You Should Be The ONLY Woman?

This is a question I constantly ask when I hear friends or associates knowingly and consciously accept the position of the "OTHER WOMAN..."

Ladies, I know it's tough out there and from our point of view, the pickings are slim. Where have all the good men gone?! But does that mean to throw our standards & morals to the wayside, and become the "sideline chick" to someone else's man? What's in the water here in 2009, going into 2010, that this kind of behavior is acceptable? HAVE WOMEN TRULY GOTTEN THIS DESPERATE?

These women's self-esteem, have gotten to an all time LOW, that they are willing to spend their time with a man that cannot & will not take them out in public on dates, will not treat them to the nicer things relationships have to offer, like meeting his family and friends. Why would anyone want that?!

I am slowly but surely starting to realize that so many women out there have given up on finding their OWN MAN, that they have become complacent enough to spend time with a man who is TAKEN.

I guess my first thought is KARMA & a DEATH WISH. I mean seriously?! Do you really want to risk getting choked, scratched, stabbed, cursed out or end up in court due to a disgruntled wife or girlfriend, because of a man that never loved you in the first place?!! And I will always be a believer in karma. If you're a "cheat" for the "cheater"... don't get mad when you "perfect" little world comes CRASHING DOWN when you find out that YOUR BOO has been getting it in with someone that's not you! Just a thought.

Now, I do know in some cases, men fail to inform women that they are committed to someone. So by the time the women realizes what's really going on, it's too late. Feelings have formed, intimacy has probably already come to fruition and there's an MAD WOMAN that feels extremely violated. Those are the men that are ALL ABOUT SELF. Whether they are married or in a relationship, they are only focused on SELF. Ditch his behind, try not to kill him and repent for messing with a married man (unknowingly).

In both scenarios, I try to explain to people that "WOMEN HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OF THERE LIVES..." They control, who they spend they're time with, who they choose to let in (literally), who they choose to fall in love with, who they choose to make babies with, who they choose to marry, etc. Women have to be conscious of their surroundings, focused on the kind of person they're loving, etc. So when things don't work out, even though you CHOSE to be the other woman... guess what??? You can ONLY BE MAD AT YOU.

The most pathetic thing in the world to see, is a lady that knew she wasn't someone's MAIN WOMAN, but kept pretending to herself that she was, get upset, freak out, go crazy & try to make the man miserable because things didn't workout how she thought it was going to.

Newsflash! That's what happens when you're NOT his #1.

Pick your face up off the floor, learn from your mistake and MOVE FORWARD.

If your "man" is not showcasing you to the world, makes excuses when you want to go out in public, starts avoiding your calls, texts or emails... you might want to investigate... you're probably not the ONLY ONE.

Be smart! Don't get distraught. I can't say it enough. BE PATIENT. The one that GOD made for you is OUT THERE. You shouldn't have to manipulate or force things to work in your favor. You will only end up with a broken heart and another "beat down" to your self-esteem because things didn't work out the way you visualized or tried to plan.

To my "OTHER WOMEN" out there. Get a backbone honey, stop trying to mess with what's not yours. We love our men, but we know that they are easily tempted. Just because a man "wants" you, doesn't mean that he really "WANTS" you. He just wants you right then... And if being a quick fix is cool with you... poor girl... (smh) In the end, he's going home... to his #1.

WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO BE #2???

ijs.

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Blog #3: What's In A NOOK???

Do you know what a NOOK is?

I refer to "my nook" on a regular basis and most people look puzzled when I say it. You've got to be a DIEHARD "Sex And The City" fan (like myself... it's a Carrie and Aidan thing!) to understand the term.

How many of you love getting in his NOOK? Sounds kind of wild huh? LOL! It's actually quite simple and G-Rated.

The nook is that oh so comfortable resting spot where a girl can nestle her head when lying with her sweetie. it's that little spot between his neck & shoulder, or in his arm with her head on his chest where she finds comfort and security as she drifts off to sleep. TA-DA! Simple Right?!

In various articles I've read that when one partner (typically the man) lies face up in a "nook-like" position, it indicates a strong ego and a sense of entitlement. The woman's head on his shoulder suggests that she is the more dependent and compliant one - almost as though she is "looking at the world from his perspective". This position reflects a high level of trust and strong commitment. Psychologically, this represents an attempt to focus total attention on your partner, even in sleep.

Ladies, have you lied in your NOOK lately? It's the most comfortable & secure spot to cozy up in after a long and stressful day!

To the men out there, are you lying in bed with your back turned to your partner? If so, STOP, and rekindle the flame by pulling her in and giving her the reassurance that you still care for her. Make her feel secure and that you're STILL her protector. I promise you, it might spark some much needed fireworks!!!

For my singles out there, if your new "interest" pulls you in his nook or fellas, if the young lady attempts to curl up in yours, rest assure... there's chemistry. :o)

Goodnight! I'm about to go snuggle in my "NOOK!"

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Blog #2: UNDERWEAR: To Wear Them Or NOT To Wear Them?

So, I told you my posts were going to be a bit random, sometimes a bit "off color" but they are TRUE TO LIFE thoughts based on recent conversations or experiences I've had... :o)

So, there's panties, thongs, g-strings, boxers, boxer briefs, briefs, bloomers, knickers, drawers... the list could go on and on...

Lately I've been coming across people who openly admit that they DON'T WEAR underwear...

Do you wear underwear? How do you personally feel about going "commando?" LOL!

For women, most claim they don't wear underwear because of the unsightly panty lines, they prefer to let it "breathe," or they just like the way it makes them feel free "down there"...

On the other hand, women who ALWAYS wear underwear claim that they thought it was disgusting not to wear underwear. That it's unsanitary, ruins your clothing and has got to be uncomfortably awkward!

For the "free-balling" men, they claimed that it was just comfortable and enjoyed the way it felt... While the other guys said that not wearing underwear was uncomfortable and caused chafing or irritation.

To each his own, I guess?! LOL!

How would you feel, if you found out your date, significant other or spouse didn't wear underwear? Ladies, would you think the guy was weird or nasty? Or would you think it was kind of sexy and adventurous?

Fellas, if a lady tells you that she doesn't wear panties, is she automatically labeled as being "easy" or a "freak" or is she just a woman that knows her comfort levels??

Upon my research, and I even took the time out to ask my gynecologist, and he stated that, "it is very healthy not to wear underwear, as it keeps the area dry and cool."

So my thoughts are, many women and men don't wear underwear at all. Ladies, if you wear very short skirts then it is probably wiser to wear underwear, but if your skirts are knee length or you wear pants, go ahead. It's completely OK to not wear "undies." In fact, it has been proven that some underwear are worse for you than wearing nothing at all. Panties made of non-cotton fabrics that don't breathe can trap moisture, warmth and secretions which can cause bacteria to grow. And we all know... BACTERIA, is NOT what you want... yuck...

So, ultimately, this boils down to a PERSONAL CHOICE... Either you're all about the freedom down there, or you're NOT.

So are you wondering, "do I wear underwear?" LOL! That's only for me & my "other half" to know! *wink*

Is one way "wrong" and another way "right?" What's your thoughts?

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Blog #1: Is Chivalry Dead? Where's My Knight In Shining Armor?

***THIS ONE IS FOR THE LADIES*** (men feel free to comment)

Lately, I've noticed so many women around me are in search of that "Knight In Shining Armor." Is this man mythical or REALITY?! Is Chivalry REALLY DEAD?!

I honestly believe that it's not! I PROMISE YOU THAT! If I can manage to find a GENTLEMAN that loves being with his woman and attending to her needs and not worried what his boys think about it... I'm convinced EVERY deserving woman can find the same...

Just stay prayed up... DON'T GO SEARCHING, and ALLOW YOURSELF to be PURSUED... Don't get DESPERATE like so many women out there do! That's MISTAKE #1! NOT ALL MEN ARE PIGS... The good one's ARE OUT THERE :) Just be patient.

I'll be honest. After an awful relationship in my early 20s... I promised myself I WOULD NOT settle for less... while I did date and had "friends"... I said I would NEVER give my heart, until I knew that the man was worth giving it too...

IT TOOK SIX YEARS... but it was worth every second... in those six years of "me time." I learned a lot, matured, and was being molded into the woman that I needed to be for my soul mate...

My present relationship has not been perfect by ANY MEANS... ever couple has their hurtles and UPS and DOWNS... but even though those "little" bumps were frustrating, it's only brought us closer. It's different when you're in a disagreement with a total ASSHOLE that isn't the man you're destined to be with... versus the disagreement with the man that you know for a FACT is on YOUR TEAM...

Growth, Communication, Overcoming The Problems That Arise TOGETHER and Trust... Will lead you to the LOVE that most dream of...

Even the toughest and most independent woman wants to be loved and need companionship. Every woman has the instinct to want to experience TRUE LOVE... If you know someone who doesn't, I have a HARD time believing that...

It's OK to feel vulnerable and wanting someone there FOR YOU... we're human...

No one desires to live life ALONE.

He's out there...

I just want women to stay encouraged...

I was at my WITS END... feeling depressed when out of NO WHERE...

it happened...

and it happened when I finally stopped thinking about it.

But we as women have to realize we ARE NOT PERFECT... and the man you dream about is PROBABLY not the man that will ACTUALLY come along...

My significant other wasn't what I visualized growing up, as MY TYPE... but something made me relax and see him for what he was...

that ended up being MINE. :)

I'm thankful I had the insight to get my nose out of the air... sit my fast ass down and see what this MAN was about...

LADIES, we're not perfect princesses. Therefore don't expect your knight in shining armor to look flawless (we're not), have the perfect profession (we probably don't) & have the model life (I'm pretty sure ours isn't)...

Be careful who you REJECT because your KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR may have just walked out the door...

~JUST JEMIA :o)

Introducing... "JUST JEMIA..."

Welcome to my blog! This blog has been a long time in the making... It has evolved from the many comments, posts and status updates on my Facebook page. Numerous FB friends have been pushing me to take my outlandish, honest, "no holds barred," that's "JUST JEMIA" thoughts to the blog level... Well... HERE GOES NOTHING!

I don't really have a MAIN topic that I will be focusing on in my writings, but I'm just going to go with the flow. My hopes are to discuss and share my opinions on REAL LIFE TOPICS, ISSUES, CONTROVERSIES, RELATIONSHIPS, DEBATES, HUMOROUS SCENARIOS, etc., that will appeal to EVERYONE. This is not a "male bashing" women ONLY blog... LOL. ;) To get the ball rolling, I will start off with a few entries and thoughts taken from my Facebook comments.

Feel free to share with me the topics you'd like to discuss and I'd love to read your comments & feedback! I will be posting as often as possible!

Here we go!

Enjoy!

JUST JEMIA :o)