BLOG #4: Why Be The MAIN Woman, When You Should Be The ONLY Woman?

This is a question I constantly ask when I hear friends or associates knowingly and consciously accept the position of the "OTHER WOMAN..."

Ladies, I know it's tough out there and from our point of view, the pickings are slim. Where have all the good men gone?! But does that mean to throw our standards & morals to the wayside, and become the "sideline chick" to someone else's man? What's in the water here in 2009, going into 2010, that this kind of behavior is acceptable? HAVE WOMEN TRULY GOTTEN THIS DESPERATE?

These women's self-esteem, have gotten to an all time LOW, that they are willing to spend their time with a man that cannot & will not take them out in public on dates, will not treat them to the nicer things relationships have to offer, like meeting his family and friends. Why would anyone want that?!

I am slowly but surely starting to realize that so many women out there have given up on finding their OWN MAN, that they have become complacent enough to spend time with a man who is TAKEN.

I guess my first thought is KARMA & a DEATH WISH. I mean seriously?! Do you really want to risk getting choked, scratched, stabbed, cursed out or end up in court due to a disgruntled wife or girlfriend, because of a man that never loved you in the first place?!! And I will always be a believer in karma. If you're a "cheat" for the "cheater"... don't get mad when you "perfect" little world comes CRASHING DOWN when you find out that YOUR BOO has been getting it in with someone that's not you! Just a thought.

Now, I do know in some cases, men fail to inform women that they are committed to someone. So by the time the women realizes what's really going on, it's too late. Feelings have formed, intimacy has probably already come to fruition and there's an MAD WOMAN that feels extremely violated. Those are the men that are ALL ABOUT SELF. Whether they are married or in a relationship, they are only focused on SELF. Ditch his behind, try not to kill him and repent for messing with a married man (unknowingly).

In both scenarios, I try to explain to people that "WOMEN HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OF THERE LIVES..." They control, who they spend they're time with, who they choose to let in (literally), who they choose to fall in love with, who they choose to make babies with, who they choose to marry, etc. Women have to be conscious of their surroundings, focused on the kind of person they're loving, etc. So when things don't work out, even though you CHOSE to be the other woman... guess what??? You can ONLY BE MAD AT YOU.

The most pathetic thing in the world to see, is a lady that knew she wasn't someone's MAIN WOMAN, but kept pretending to herself that she was, get upset, freak out, go crazy & try to make the man miserable because things didn't workout how she thought it was going to.

Newsflash! That's what happens when you're NOT his #1.

Pick your face up off the floor, learn from your mistake and MOVE FORWARD.

If your "man" is not showcasing you to the world, makes excuses when you want to go out in public, starts avoiding your calls, texts or emails... you might want to investigate... you're probably not the ONLY ONE.

Be smart! Don't get distraught. I can't say it enough. BE PATIENT. The one that GOD made for you is OUT THERE. You shouldn't have to manipulate or force things to work in your favor. You will only end up with a broken heart and another "beat down" to your self-esteem because things didn't work out the way you visualized or tried to plan.

To my "OTHER WOMEN" out there. Get a backbone honey, stop trying to mess with what's not yours. We love our men, but we know that they are easily tempted. Just because a man "wants" you, doesn't mean that he really "WANTS" you. He just wants you right then... And if being a quick fix is cool with you... poor girl... (smh) In the end, he's going home... to his #1.

WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO BE #2???

ijs.

~JUST JEMIA :o)