"I was riding in the car with my sister on Sunday and we got on the subject of dating. One thing she and I both agreed on is that a lot of women compromise to be with a man. Webster defines compromise as to make a deal where someone gives up part of, or all of its demands. Another definition I found says to put in jeopardy. Some synonyms are cop out, discredit, dishonor, embarrass, endanger, give in, ruin, sell out and weaken. Compromise can be something positive or something negative. Right now, I’m focusing on the negative part.
As I read and study the word of God I read about different stories about compromise. One in particularly is where Esau sells his birthright for some food. He comprised a lot all for some red stew. Was it really worth it? Jacob his brother knew the worth of his birthright and tricked him into giving it up. That is what is going on in the world today. A lot of men know the worth of us ladies, but the sad part is we don’t know our own worth.
I’m sure a lot of us have often quoted Proverbs 31 (The VIRTUOUS WOMAN). We know it backwards and forwards but, are we really living that? I see so many women willing to give up sooo much just to be with a man. I have heard things like a piece of a man is better than no man at all. That is so not true. Ladies we do not have to settle to have a man. We should have some standards and demands when it comes to dating. If that is truly the man that God has for you then you won’t have to settle or compromise. We compromise what we believe in and a whole lot more.
Don’t put your life in jeopardy. If you say you are not having sex until you are married then mean that. Don’t let anybody tell you that will never happen or there is no man out there who is willing to wait until you are married. If a man tells you that PLEASE RUN!!!!! Ok, I will put myself on blast. I am celibate. I have made up in my mind, heart and soul that I am not having sex until I am married. I will not allow men to talk to me any kind of way. I don’t use profanity and neither will the person I am with. He will respect me but more so the God in me. I have stopped talking to so many guys because they wanted me to compromise. I dare not do it. I have had a guy to even tell me you want somebody who is perfect and you will never find him. No, I am not looking for a perfect man just the perfect one for me.
A lot of the times when we compromise on the things we want we become upset and unhappy. I promise you if it really is the man for you, there is nothing you will have to compromise that goes against your beliefs. Women please set some standards and rules when it comes to dating. Why do you settle for a married man? What can he offer you? Not only that but you are making it hard on yourself. You are committing adultery. Please, a man is not worth that. If a man is married LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!! Just because he does not respect the sanctity of his marriage does not mean you can’t. Be the bigger person. If a man lays hands on you to cause you bodily harm then PLEASE let him go. No man should ever lay hands on you to cause you any harm. His threats are nothing. There is too much domestic violence going in the world and you don’t have to be a part of it.
If you can’t do it alone seek help. Don’t let a man talk down to you. You are beautiful; you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. If he can’t pray and praise God with you then let him go. If a man does not love God then he will never be able to love you how you should be loved. Ok, again I will put myself out there. When I was younger I would be embarrassed to praise God around a guy I was dating. Now that I look back on it, I was compromising. That was dumb on my part. Now, if you can’t pray with me, praise God with/for me or we can’t study the word of God together then….Next!!!! That’s just me.
I love the Lord with all my heart and soul. One of the most intimate things you can do with your mate is pray. When you pray you undress your soul before God. Ladies, I admonish you to please re-evaluate the relationships you are in. If you are in it for the wrong reasons please let it go. If you are with someone just to say you have a man it’s not worth it. If you have compromised things to be with the man you are with, let it go. If you say you are in a relationship but he only calls you “friend” let it go. If he is not challenging you to be better, let it go.
When a man finds a good thing he knows it. He knows what you are worth but do you? It is time for us to stop quoting proverbs 31 and start to live it. Put God first then everything else will line up. Make him the head of your life. Think about this, when you have a headache it makes it hard to do something’s. If the head is not right then nothing else will be right. Make God the head. Stop trying to go after a man and let him come after you. You don’t need a man to make it in the world. You don’t need a man to pay your bills, wash your car, buy you groceries, take you shopping, or take you on vacations. God gave you two feet and two hands. Put them to work. Get those things for yourself. When a man is looking for a wife he is looking for a “HELP”-mate not a “NEEDY”-mate. It’s time to raise the standards. Stand for whatever you believe in and don’t compromise. You are worth more than that!!!!!!!" -Alethia J.
