BLOG #6: Why Men Can't Find A Good Woman... Or Fail To Commit When They Do...

OK... So, day before yesterday, my boyfriend and I were driving back pretty late from ATL. As we were on I-20 W, we were listening to V-103's own Joyce Littel talking about love and relationships. She had a guest author on the air as well and they were talking about, "why is it that men cannot find a good woman to commit to?" Adrian and I were kind of intrigued and turned up the volume. I thought to myself, "Hmmm... you don't usually hear this from the man's point of view, so this is going to be interesting."

Various callers called in and you heard a plethora of reasonings behind this mystery. One young man stated that woman today are too "stuck up" and independent and that some men have a hard time being "equally yoked" with a woman today. He said that these women, although they have their own are "gold diggers" and immediately begin to question a man's employment, living situations, question the car they drive and if they are highly educated.

A woman called in and said that it's because men are indecisive and have too many options out there in the world. Women outnumber men and men have a hard time coming to the realization that they are committing to be with only ONE WOMAN. (God forbid! *gasp* LOL!)

And one other guy's point was that men have a difficult time meeting and committing to "Ms. Right" because there are too many women out there that want to play mind games. He claimed that women are not brazen enough and that women don't want a real man, they want a man that reads minds. He said that men get tired of it and that women should be more willing to tell a man what she wants mentally, physically & emotionally, instead of giving weak hints...

What do you think? Why are men having a hard time finding a good woman? And why are they NOT committing when they do?

In my opinion, this topic could go on for days! But I'll sum it up like this. WOMEN are the REASON men CAN'T find a GOOD WOMAN... In a world of instantaneousness, both men and women want things NOW. Whatever happened to patience? These days women are bending over backwards to make themselves "shine" versus the other women out there. No one is willing to wait anymore. A lot of women today have sex with a man within the first week of meeting him. They invite a stranger into their homes or go into a strangers home way too quickly and are eager to either cook, clean or make love to a man to try to win his favor. When are women going to realize that she and every other "Tonya, Denise & Jane" is making the same great attempt, effort and MISTAKE! Because of us, these men have WAY TOO MANY OPTIONS and none of us are standing out from the rest. For example, if you aren't available to cook, clean or make love to him, he can whip out his iPhone and find plan B, C & D that will take good care of him that night. Why should they commit?! They've got a "farm full of cows and they're getting the milk for FREE."

Men are more than likely to commit to the woman that is not desperately throwing herself at him, attempting to use him (shout out to my "gold diggers") and to the woman that is not doing what EVERY other woman is doing for him. Ladies, please realize that we all think our COOKING, our CLEANING and our "Vah-Jay-Jay" (Vagina)/SEX is way better than the NEXT CHICK. It just ain't so! Someone out there will always be able to "burn" in the kitchen better than you, is so organized and clean it's insane (shout out to my girl Tyya!) and please believe, it's someone doing mind blowing, toe curling "tricks" in the bedroom, you've never even heard of...

So, what's a girl to do? Be true to yourself. I'm almost willing to bet that a man can appreciate a woman more that is genuine, knows who she is, knows what she wants out of life, speaks very openly about her ideals and thoughts, is secure with who she is (and not worried about the next girl), knows how to laugh, have fun and it would help if you enjoyed the game of football, at least a little bit. LOL!

I can only speak from my experiences. And if I had to say what made my boyfriend commit to me, I would honestly say it was because I know how to kick back, laugh and enjoy the simpler things in life. I'm wasn't searching for an "ATM" or a man that was going to cater to my every need. I waited for a man that shared the same ideals as me, similar views on the future, has a great sense of humor and someone I can "battle" through the hard times with and still feel TRIUMPHANT in the midst of a storm.

So ladies, stop trying to overly nurture and pamper a man. If not you'll end up with a spoiled and lazy man that doesn't feel the need to participate in the growth of you all's relationship. More than likely, he'll just kick back and enjoy the ride. NO GOOD.

Men, humble yourselves. Stop wasting your time on "fly by nights..." You're letting some good women slip through your fingers all because you want to be "Prince Akeem" and "Sow your royal oats"... That's TV. This is reality. We're not getting any younger people. And one day, when you're up in age, your looks and "sexy" body will not be existent or important. It'll be all about companionship, knowing and trusting the person you spend the rest of your life with and LOVE.

Fellas, just don't get too complacent. Ladies, be true to yourself. Both need to learn how to take the time to hear each other out. And the mentality of "what can you do for me?" should not be a focal point in the process of learning about someone. In the technique of getting to know a GOOD MAN or WOMAN, everything NOT being about you, must come into play very early in the game.

GOOD PEOPLE find GOOD PEOPLE...

Where are my gentlemen? I want to hear your thoughts.

~JUST JEMIA :0)

"A good woman is proud. She respects herself and others. She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs."