Blog #14: Is Being Materialistic HELPING you or HARMING you???

The definition of someone labeled as materialistic is, "a person who is marked more concerned with material things than with spiritual, intellectual or cultural values..."

First let me start off by saying, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with looking your best and wanting nice things...

But we all know someone that takes it to the next level. That friend that prides herself (or himself) on the shoes she wears, the purses she carries and the fact that she rarely ever wears things twice... They are CONSTANTLY shopping and buying stuff when their closet is already about to explode with things that she's already forgotten about. Sometimes this person prides herself on claiming that she "looks better than everyone else," some claim to be a "fashionista" or someone who lives and breathes fashion and some are just trying to keep up with someone else that has the same issues they do...

If any of the above describes you, you might be the exact kind of person I'm referring to... I personally know a few people like this and it makes me question their need to "OVER SHOP" or the fact that they're a "SHOPPING ADDICT."

I'm not talking about the person that occasionally shops, like 2-3 times a month or less... I'm talking about the person that's constantly shopping... everywhere they go, shopping, shopping, shopping and when they're at home, they head straight to the laptop for some online, retail therapy.

Even if you have the finances to do so and you're not running up a credit card bill like most out there... there is still something these people are compensating for at the end of the day.

As a society we use material possessions to value ourselves. Thus it breeds discontent and unhappiness because we are constantly wanting the newest fashions, etc. What causes you to want material possessions?

Dr. Tim Kasser, a psychology professor, has researched materialism and wrote a book called "The

High Price of Materialism." "Kasser argues that a materialistic orientation toward the world contributes to low self-esteem, depression, anti-social behavior, divorce, various forms of abuse and even a greater tendency to get "headaches, backaches, sore muscles, and sore throats." This very short book demonstrates the truth of the proverb, 'Money does not buy happiness.' Author, Tim Kasser cites numerous studies as he makes a compelling case that materialists are lonely, narcissistic, hampered in relationships, compulsive, insecure and disconsolate.

What do you think about Dr. Kasser's take on materialism?

Can being materialistic hurt your dating life? I randomly asked about 9 of my friends this question and many of them came to the same conclusion. YES. Materialism CAN hurt your dating life or a current relationship. The men said that they like a woman that's into keeping herself up, but some women over do it. Some women are so focused on the latest fashions, the newest shoes and keeping up with her girlfriends, that these items end up being more important than the relationship itself. Watch out ladies... some of you may not even realize it, but your shopping habit could be the reason you're single or your relationships don't last long. So many men see being materialistic, SCREAMS that you're high maintenance. And to most men, that's a turn off. They can visualize they're wallets emptying faster than the relationship can even grow... and they're GONE. They rather be with the girl that's attractive, but cares more about spending time to get to know each other, than shopping all day... Shopping addicts, I hope those new pair of shoes, and that "fly" new top, can hug and love you back because it seems like your closet is hotter and getting more action than your bedroom... Not a good look!

Some of the ladies I talked to about men who were materialistic seemed just as turned off. They said that it's nothing wrong with a man having and wanting nice things. But some men take it too far with bragging about their new tailored suit or where they purchase their "top of the line" clothing from. Men, be mindful about these things. If you like nice things and love to turn the ladies heads, "silence is GOLDEN!" Blow the ladies minds without telling them how much your new Rolex cost you. Price dropping is TACKY!

Are you a victim of "Keeping up with the Joneses'?" Are you the person that is constantly trying to see what your friends or your arch enemy is wearing so that you can find something better? Only thing I have to say about this is, if you're doing this, you need to stop and check your self-esteem. I have friends with million dollar homes and friends that are a step away from living in poverty... I love them for WHO they are and not WHAT they have... I would never subject myself to people that I felt like I had to keep up with materialistically. If someone is ridiculing you for not having the latest and greatest... they're not your friend. Real friends won't care about what you have or lack in your life. So your attempt to "keep up with the Joneses'..." only makes you look silly at the end of the day. And you can only kick YOURSELF in the butt when the credit card bill comes rolling in...

Are you raising your child/children to be materialistic? Many parents are bringing up their children in a very materialistic way. Money isn't everything. Similarly, there are some things money can't buy. Why are we adapting to a 'money-minded' mentality? Parents should learn to teach their children not to be materialistic and always expect the best of everything. Children of the 21st century are, unfortunately, sometimes succumbing to peer pressure and getting rid of their good values and habits, which leads parents to a whole lot of worry and confusion. Children, particularly teenagers, should learn to exercise caution and practicality in buying things, whether it be from a high-end boutique or a simple shoe outlet. If you commence raising your child with the views that only certain brand names are acceptable and that some brands are "cheap" or socially unacceptable, you can only be mad at yourself when you're breaking down and buying ridiculously expensive items to keep your child happy.

Materialism can be viewed in many different lights, but is it HELPING or HARMING your current lifestyle?

My significant other and I frequently discuss people's needs for material items. We find that it's OK to treat yourself and to have nice things, but when you're being EXTREMELY EXCESSIVE with your purchases, there's a disconnect there. We pride ourselves on looking good, but also realizing that valuing things that you can't buy with money, such as love, trust and communication is far more important. It's always good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's even better to make sure that you take care of, and don't lose the things that money CAN'T buy...

Just something to think about...

~JUST JEMIA :o)

“If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy” ~unknown