FOR LOVE OR MONEY???
It's 2010 and we live in a world where both men and WOMEN live a life of instantaneity, dream of being abundantly wealthy, aim high to become successful and want the "perfect" mate to go along with it all.
Now we all know, EVERYONE can't be WEALTHY, some will fail at goals in life, and others will struggle their ENTIRE life, trying to find that SPECIAL SOMEONE.
But why is the struggle so hard? Today you see so many people that seek out the WRONG things in a partner. While men do have a say in who they choose to be with, it's the WOMAN that has to agree and permit a man to pursue a relationship with her...
MONEY vs. LOVE
I personally know of SO MANY young ladies out there that are looking for a man with money to fall in love with. To take care of her, pay her bills, take her on vacations, get her the things she needs and wants, etc. The man with money is a STABLE PROVIDER. Is he really?
In my opinion, relationships with ulterior motives, such as money, usually don't work out... and if they do last, you can rest assure that someone in the relationship is miserable with themselves, their partner and is only in the relationship for the STABILITY. What happened to happiness?! Are you that hung up on material things, you would CHOOSE to put yourself in a scenario where your happiness was irrelevant, but the latest handbag, designer label or car is RELEVANT?! If you answered yes to that... I suggest you get down on your knees right now and PRAY.
Some of you out there really believe that MONEY can buy you LOVE & HAPPINESS. Just know that that kind of love & happiness is TEMPORARY and ARTIFICIAL. It will be short-lived.
I grew up believing that "MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU LOVE" & "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." (1 Timothy 6:10)
I personally have chosen LOVE over money in my relationship... What's the point of a WEALTHY, but loveless relationship/marriage? My boyfriend and I may not be the "RICHEST" people on this earth, but we are "RICH" in LOVE, LAUGHTER & COMPANIONSHIP. With our love, support and understanding, we are in tact with one another's goals and ambitions for our life as individuals and as a couple. I personally would prefer a relationship that's built on nothing BUT love, when love was all we had... But with real love, a plethora of positive scenarios can evolve from the "roots" of a strong love.
We might not be financially where we want and/or plan to be at this very moment, but with the connection that we share, I have NO DOUBTS, that one day, we will look back at our journey together and appreciate the "wealth" (i.e., a beautiful home, a wonderful family together, financial stability and success within our careers) that we will share. Love built on those principles can only bring you HAPPINESS and STRENGTH through the hard times.
Would you date/marry for money?
I've heard women make statements like,"If I marry for money, I'll get everything I've ever wanted and then I'll be happy!" "If I ever get divorced, the next man I marry, will be for money!" "All I need is money to make me happy!" ARE THEY SERIOUS?!! Last time I checked, a hundred dollar bill didn't have arms to hug you, lips to kiss you when you need loving, etc... Where have we gone WRONG as a society to think that a multitude of MONEY will just MAGICALLY solve all of our problems.
I do believe that you can have the best of both worlds in LOVE & MONEY... but a VERY small percent of women have been able to find a wealthy man to truly love them for who they are. Most rich men that I've come across or know other people that are married to them have all kinds of issues, just like the next relationship, wealthy or not. It's rare to find one that truly values the vows shared between them, one that is being faithful in the relationship/marriage, or isn't "married" to HIS MONEY and that isn't "power-tripping" due to his wealth... I've seen it all...
Some women want MATERIAL things for the sake of saying they have it and will sacrifice their days and life with a man they can't connect with, communicate with or understand. All for the sake of HAVING STUFF... It's such a SAD SIGHT... Some of these women can't figure out why the "not so popular" girl at their job, who wears the same shabby clothes every week, seems so happy and in love with her significant other. She's obviously learned the simpler things in life are much more important. While you're successful, educated, accomplished, have every material possession any woman could want... but you find it hard to genuinely SMILE everyday??? Hmph...
Hypothetically, I'd rather be with my man, splitting a #1 from McDonald's for dinner because that's all we have enough money for at that time... BUT I KNOW that he LOVES me, VALUES and CHERISHES the woman that he's with, with every ounce of his being. With SOLID LOVE like this, there is NO LIMIT to the HAPPINESS AND WEALTH that you all can pursue together.
My suggestion is, don't waste your time with unrealistic goals, such as finding a RICH MAN. Instead, set your heart on finding a man that will love you, respect you, listen to you, be there for you, make a great effort to understand you and someone who's your best friend and lover, wrapped all up in one GOOD MAN... he's out there... You have to BELIEVE to RECEIVE! BE PATIENT!
What's your take on this topic? Is MONEY really more valuable than LOVE? Or is TRUE LOVE worth having versus the MATERIAL things in life?
In my opinion, I couldn't sum it up better than this...
"The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge." (It has NOTHING to do with money)...
~JUST JEMIA :o)
To the man that has made me "RICH" in LOVE. There's no obstacle that we can't overcome together... I love you ACS :)
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
This blog is very timely for me Jemia! I am not dating right now, so I am not "looking" for a man with anything. I am also blessed with my own financial stability, so I am not nor have I ever looked for a man to take care of me. However, I do desire a well-educated man with his own career and financial success who will treat me like a queen...and those men aren't raining from the sky. I do believe they are out there, but your blog points out that there are more important things than finances or education to look for in a mate. I will try to keep that in mind when I get back on the dating scene. Muah!
ReplyDeleteAnother nice blog Jemia!! I think a mindset like that fades with maturity. Same thing with us men wanting a video girl and things like that. Money only gets you so far and it can be taken away from you in a heartbeat if you arent careful. Then you have an empty shell relationship. You also have men that know women want money and dont mind giving it up if they are getting what they want in return so there you have a legal form of being a hooker. Anyway as a man all I can do is keep working hard and praying about it and things will fall into place.
ReplyDeleteRelevant to my life.
ReplyDeleteI find myself struggling with this often.
The way I was raised and the social circles I am in conflict at times with people I am attracted to. Am I settling ot be with someone without some of the things I have and have been exposed to or is it allowing myself to be open to possibilities without boundaries.
I dont' know...Hopefully Ill figure it out.
Once again, a very intersting blog. I am of the opinion that one has to know who they are before they can be in any type of relationship. By that I mean as a woman, if I am not secure in myself the I will look for material things to mask what is really going on and where I am lacking. The problem with dealing with someone based on what they can do for you financially is foolish because when the money runs out what do you have left. I have been in situations where someone has tried to for lack of better words "buy" me and I quickly informed him he will go broke trying to give me things to make me happy. We have to be happy with the little things the fact that someone calls just because they wanted to hear your voice, or you were on their mind is more meaningful than a gift so you do not ask questions. It is the little things that count. But that is just my opinion.
ReplyDeletePlus if you sell yourself cheap, you will get bought cheap...As a woman I want the one thing you cannot replace - your time...
ReplyDelete